My elementary school teacher told us once that Americans only poop once a week. The climate is colder in North America, so their intestines pack the poop together very densely such that they only need to poop once a week. She said you’d be sent to the doctor if you poop daily in America.
Is this true?
Your teacher was either an idiot or fucking with you lol
What the fuck am I reading
Lol
Your elementary school teacher should have been fired.
Common misconception. They only poop when Trump tells them to. If they don’t wait til instructed ICE comes and shoots them.
Land of the free, ladies and gents.
You’re mixing up Americans with sloths, but I guess we’re not that different
Is this why so many Europeans treat us like some different species
Having worked in fentanyl crisis towns and then have the neighboring towns proudly proclaim how great America is and how much FREEDOM we have… Totally understandable how Europeans look at us.
Hell, I’ll never forget the look my european coworker gave me when I told them we have a two week parental leave and it’s a fire-at-will state.
Yeah but that’s us being oppressed, I would think it makes sense they find those things abhorrent. But not really the same thing
If an American had thought something as ridiculous as the OP about some other country (and genuinely no offense meant to the OP) they would get destroyed

What tf even is that?!!
What are you trying to say?
It’s talking about absurd things people will say about other countries. The statement the teacher made was absurd, with zero grounds for evidence.
When I grew up in North Korea I ate rats to survive, but eating is illegal so the police came. But the police also tries to survive so they take the rats. I thought this was normal until I read your posts. Now I know that true freedom is the class inequality of pooping once a week.
The climate is colder in North America
Colder than where?
Nope. I shit every day, in the morning, on a schedule.
Your teacher was full of shit. Sure the Standard American Diet (SAD) is terrible and leaves fiber much to be desired, but not every American sticks to the SAD. I’m sure other countries have people that have shit diets and get constipated too, not just the US.
Generalizations don’t help anyone.
On the off chance that this is a real question:
I am an American, and I poop regularly, every day.
I will admit that I do not adhere to the standard American diet, but I know that I am not alone in my poop habits.
I genuinely don’t understand the logic of “America is a colder climate”, because that is ostensibly incorrect.
All this (wonderful) shit-talking and no-one has mentioned painkillers. Earlier this year I spent a couple of weeks in hospital along with a lot of other oldies with fall injuries. We were all taking oxycodone and paracetamol for the pain, and the nurses were obsessed with our bowel movements. We were given laxatives twice a day to hurry things along, and threatened with an enema if we went too long without pooing. After the laxatives worked their magic on me I started refusing to take them, because it took me so long to get across the ward to the toilet I was scared I’d shit myself halfway.
So yes, painkillers are costive.
I had to take oxy’s after hand surgery, and I am not accustomed to painkillers. I ended up constipated, and it was (BY FAR) the worst poop of my life. Like, that (literal) shit hurt worse than the pain of surgery
I’m talking 45+ mins on the toilet; pushing, sweating, almost crying, standing up and down trying to get things to move. I became a little fearful and wondered if I was about to tear my rectum. I felt like I wanted to faint. I couldn’t just stop because it was half-way out, making my bum feel like I was getting spread-open by a dragon or something… and it wouldn’t pinch off. I admittedly dug in my butt, trying to pull it out… I was in fucking shambles and beginning to panic. It felt like I was fighting for my life
It finally cleared, and I was left with pure exhaustion and butt pain. Prune juice helped me to reconcile that issue, and even though I had never tried prune juice — I’m a “forever fan” of that sweet sweet elixir of preemptive relief
I’ll never forget that poop
Thank you for sharing! I realise now what the nurses wanted to spare us…
Cleaning you is waaay easier than disimpaction. If it’s bad enough I have to call someone who doesn’t work holidays, weekends, or any other hour a bank isn’t open. If it’s NOT bad enough to call that person, that’s actually way worse because it’s gonna be you, me, and these phalanges, and neither of us is gonna be having a good time. Now that I work in a tiny community hospital I don’t even have residents I can sucker into it anymore!
“Shhh shhhh shhhhh… you’ll feel better soon, I promise”. And they do! (Then my shift ends, and I think about my life choices)
I was never taught disimpaction in school… but when you know it’s gotta happen, it just is what it is
No.
you seem lost.
this is clearly a !shittyasklemmy@lemmy.uhhoh.com post
Lol, your teacher sounds amazing.
Oh, she was xD
I used to shit more like twice a day during grad school (probably because of all the junkfood like living off microwave burritos lol) but then I shifted to about once a day and was mildly concerned about it.
When I looked it up to see if it were symptomatic of low fiber or something else… color me surprised to find dozens of reddit posts talking about how people only shit once every 3-4 days. I was stunned.
Then I realized a lot of those posts were made by Americans, and it reminded me of someone in college who once reasoned that him living off McDonald’s for three meals a day was “sustainable” because he counted calories religiously… not taking into account that he was essentially living off fiberless food whatsoever lmao
So basically…






