Because I’d look like this:
Is that Lukashenko?
The real Phil Collins. RIP.
BAAAAAAAAAAM!
Green eggs and HAAAAAMMMM!
Randy bobandy’s dad?
Fat
So true 🤣
Me too, thanks.
My fear of getting arrested for disturbing the public peace.
Personal dignity?
Can buy mine for three bucks.
Because I’m fat and ugly. I don’t want to see it and trust me you don’t want to see it either.
You might be surprised.
Trojan soldiers said the same thing about a big wooden horse outside their walls.
Mr. Hands was surprised by a horse with big wood.
He died doing that too!
Now someone just needs to write an epic ballad and there’d be perfect parity between the two events.
It’s all about attitude.
I got a belly and I get a lot of positive attention when I rock a crop top.
It’s it from other men applauding you?
Men, women and everyone in between.
Also, crop tops kick ass in the summer. Breezy…
i used to feel like that until i discovered the chub and bear crowds.
now i show off my hairy moobs; my low hanging belly; and my back boobs every chance i get when the sun is out.
stop describing yourself, I’m at WORK! eggplant
I remember something about them being hunted to extinction
Understanding dryer settings.
I don’t want to disappoint gay guys.
Gents, this is not for you; it’s for her. 🙂
if i dressed like that, she would probably injure herself laughing.
I just realized that the examples in the meme leave out an important part of the ensemble: calf-high white tube socks with multicolor bands at the top.
If you’re gonna rock it, rock it all the way.
I don’t have those, so that. That stops me from doing that.
I don’t have a younger sister I have to share clothes with.
Beer belly
And my sagging balls.
Eh, just throw them over your shoulder and you’re good to go.
Can you imagine?!! Especially with a midriff shirt!
I don’t drink or eat a lot of carbs, I am trim and lean. But I still wouldn’t dress like that simply because bare midriff doesn’t look good on men unless you’re fully trying to imitate the 80’s movie aesthetic for laughs.
not being a hunk, for starters… but also it looks uncomfortable
Aside from my slab o’flab making people wish my top had not been cropped, those daddy dukes look like junk-crunchers.
That’s the point!
We grew up watching those dudes get butchered in increasingly-grotesque ways by a diverse conglomeration of psychotic murderers and animals, both natural and supernatural.
I’m good with my plain black t-shirt that’s long enough to serve as a dress because I’m fat and need uberlength shirts to make it over the curvature of my Moo Deng pregnancy and still have enough fabric left over to not leave me looking like I’m wearing a cummerbund made from pale hairy human skin.
Fat guy dress > being split vertically, starting at the willy, by an industrial saw because I unknowingly spent a summer afternoon in a swimming hole that once hosted a cruel gang of teenagers who pretended to befriend a lonely man with a deformity and subsequently caused him to drown in it by shoving him off the rocks into the water even though they knew he couldn’t swim.
Wow, there’s a lot to unpack there. Cheers mate.