- Your body is now “out of warranty”. When it breaks in a significant way, it may never get fully better. Don’t do stupid stuff that will break it in those ways.
- If you haven’t figured out yet that you can’t drink, party, or skip sleep like you did earlier in life, learn it quick. Each of these will have a much larger impact on you.
- If you don’t have your retirement savings on track now, you have a VERY VERY short window to correct that. Its going to be much harder now to put the money aside than it would have earlier in life, but you’re in the prime earning years of your life. I would think you will earn more now in the next 10-12 years or so than you will/would have in any 10-12 years of your life.
- Hopefully you’ve learned by now to be comfortable with yourself in your own skin. This means not doing things/buying things to impress other people. You are who you are. This doesn’t mean stop learning or improving yourself, but nobody is going to be impressed with a 40+ year old driving an amazing car. It doesn’t matter how amazing the car is.
- Support younger people. You didn’t get where you are on your own. You had help, advice, and your mistakes were forgiven by those older than you because of your youth. Now its your turn to do that for the younger people. You grew up seeing heroes around you. You are now the hero in a younger person’s eyes. Hold that duty sacred. Be their hero in how you act.
- Embrace change! No, things aren’t like they used to be. No, they shouldn’t necessarily go back to those things just to make you comfortable. Its not our world anymore, it belongs to the younger generations. Understand your ways could be out-of-date or backwards. Your old ways worked for you in that old world. That old world is gone. Be part of the new. You’ll have to do this two or three more times before you die if you live into your 80s or 90s.
- Stay fit. That doesn’t mean body builder or supermodel. It means be moderately active so that picking something up doesn’t cause a strain injury that will take you 6 months to a year to recover from. You shouldn’t be out of breath walking up stairs. If you are, make changes. You’re likely already seeing the difference in your peers with those that stayed fit vs those that didn’t. Be part of the first group, not the second. If you are in the second group, you can change to the first by taking care of your body and eating properly.
- Make a will. You will die and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Dying without having a will makes some of your assets evaporate in probate and may mean your money/assets go to people you may not want.
- Go to the goddamn doctor for wellness checkups! You’re entering the time of life where conditions found early are treatable. Don’t dying/become disabled because you were too lazy or afraid to go. Yes, some of the things are going to be uncomfortable, but I can tell you its much more comfortable than debilitating pain or death.
You might look at the list above and think it negative for you now. Its not at all. This is the prize for living to this age. You likely have some friend or family that died before 40. You are here to see this part of your life. Make sure you’re still here to see 50, 60, 70, with as much of your body and mind as you can.
Good luck!
I tell myself every day that I’m not working out for my beach body, I’m working out for my old lady body. I just want to be able to tie my own shoes when I’m 70.
Lift. Heavy. Things. And Train. Your. VO2 Max. Eat. Fibre.
Didn’t see anyone suggest it, but I can’t recommend it enough, spend time with your parents, and, if they’re still alive, your grandparents!
This really put it into perspective for me.
If you were a late baby like me, your parents are likely getting into their 70s now. You may have 20 years with them. You may have 5. I’m lucky if get to see mine once a month because of work. That’s around 60-240 times left to see them. If I spend an hour with them each time(which is a stretch), that’s 10 days tops. Enjoy the time you have with them and pray you’re lucky.
Also, if you have any loved ones, tell them you love them every chance you get. My wife and I have traded "I love you"s nearly every day for the past 23 years. You never know when it’ll be the last time, so say it as much as you can to anyone you care about! It doesn’t cost anything, and tell me it’s not great to hear when someone says it to you. Spread that shit around!
Lastly, if you can afford it, travel. You don’t have to travel the whole world, and it doesn’t have to cost a fortune. I know people hate on them, but my wife and I book at least 1 AirBnB a year. We find a cheap place that’s only a day’s drive away and book it for a week. Just get outside of the safety net that is the streets and places you know.
For that matter, take any opportunity you can to make new memories. We are creatures of habit, and our brains don’t like to waste. It’s believed that one of the reasons our days feel like they fly by is because we’re following a routine that our brain meshes with the memory of similar experiences and routines to save energy. Being in new places, experiencing new things, and making new memories may help with breaking up those moments where the day, week, month, or year are gone in a flash.
Stretch and practice meditation. I started in my 50th year, do it every day, and wish I’d started sooner.
The trick to doing it everyday is to view it as a matter of hygiene instead of exercise. I won’t leave the house when starting the day without first brushing my teeth, stretching and meditating, taking a shower. It’s like rinsing your mind with fresh water.What do you mean when you say practice meditation? What is it that you do?
I mean to do it regularly. Ideally, every day, even if just for 5 minutes.
Personally, I sit in a dark room, on a one-person couch with no armrests, so I can bend my knees and open my legs butterfly-style with the soles of the feet touching. I put a firm cushion on my back to keep it straight, keep myself at a 90° angle.
Always paying attention to my breath, releasing whatever is on my mind at the moment of exhaling, while trying to not do anything (now there’s a paradox), to let go and just observe, returning to the breath, returning to the breath, returning to the breath.
I started doing this for 10-15 minute sessions, worked up to 25 minutes, jumped to around a full hour, and have settled on around 45 minutes.
Sometimes, I’ll do this in the backyard. There’s loud traffic nearby, including trailer trucks, but there’s also some beautiful birdsongs coming from the trees.
And in theory, one is supposed to be able to meditate perfectly fine even if there’s a jackhammer operating by your side.You could also focus on the breath while thinking something along the lines of:
“I am calm…” while inhaling, then “…and I smile” while exhaling.
You could do this at the start, at the end, at the middle, during the whole session, not at all… there are no fixed rules, do what the moment calls for, go with the flow. Do it until you… stop. By that token, also don’t do it until you start.
40 is where your slow decline from your 20s and 30s starts to accelerate.
Be more active, but not so active you risk injury.
As a person in their low 40’s who recently became active again and keeps getting injured trying to go at it like I did 15 years ago, listen very closely to that second part folks.
Ease into it. Don’t overtrain.
Eat your vegetables and exercise.
If you’re fat, lose weight. It’s a risk factor for practically everything and you’re getting old now whether you like it or not. You can at least stop causing further damage.
Read books. It helps you stay sharp. If you just can’t read, do something else daily that uses your brain.
I’m well old enough to be your daddy. Here are some things you should pay attention to.
Have a reason to get up every day you can breathe. Because if you have no reason to, you will wither and die. I’ve seen it happen and it ain’t pretty.
Time will seem to accelerate. You will slowly start to notice that the “past” gets farther behind you quicker and the “now” flies by to become that “past” and the “future” gets here far too soon.
Like it or not, you are getting closer every day to dying rather than living no matter what you do. Make your peace with that concept because no one gets out alive.
Buy a nice suit. You will probably be going to the weddings of the children of your friends or your own children. And far more sadly, the funerals of family and friends. And at some point in time, the funerals will out number the weddings.
Start doing things for society. Get involved in your community. Help build a park or two or three, teach kids something - I spent 4 years tutoring/teaching math to kids in a small rural school during COVID. It did cost me some health, (Thanks! long COVID), but it was worth everything it cost and I would do it all over again. Those kids did more for me than I could do for them.
Physical exercise is great but don’t forget to exercise the mind also. Because if you don’t, you will lose cognition and the ability to think perhaps faster than your physical health - and this is my greatest fear. Cultivate hobbies that stimulate mental challenges. And a diet of video games ain’t it. Go fishing, bird watching, gardening, do art. Something, anything, that challenges the mind to solve problems and be creative. I design and build metal model steam engines and 3D printed items to try and keep my mind sharp. I try to learn new skills every chance I get.
As much as it might be fun to travel the world and see new places and people, there is a whole world to explore right outside your door. Go explore it and really learn the details of it. It will surprise you with it’s beauty and complexity. You don’t need to be rich to explore the world.
Teach something to someone. You know things - pass it on to others. Do not let the knowledge die with you.
Learn to laugh at yourself - do not fear looking silly. It can help make people feel more comfortable with you and with themselves.
And finally, live a good life. Be kind and be there for the world when it needs you. Leave a legacy for others to remember you by - even if it was only a kind word at the right time. The memory of you is all the world will have - leave your mark on it.
Good Luck! We all need it!
Pretty good advice, except the bit about eschewing video games. Bird watching is more mentally stimulating than piloting a T28 in extreme battle conditions? You’re out of your fucking element, Donny.
I did not say you shouldn’t play video games at all. But you miss the total picture of an activity like bird watching. Bird watching involves actually getting up, getting dressed, getting you gear and camera ready, and getting out into the “real world” to do. Often with groups of other like minded people enjoying the hobby. And not sitting on your ass in a room alone for hours on end.
It’s about being involved with the outside world and the physical effort interacting with other real in-person humans that matters. As a medic I was paged out at times to people who were lonely and just wanted someone - anyone - to actually be with and talk to. Sometimes they would even have a suitcase packed and ready for the trip to a hospital. Playing a video game online won’t give you the same social interaction as someone actually being there with you.
And now being old myself, I understand even more just how important it is to have regular physical social interaction for good mental health. And just like sitting alone on a bench in a shopping mall, a video game lobby or team match isn’t quite the same thing.
Idk, video games are absolutely mentally stimulating, but it’s less fulfilling than a variety of activities.
Cultivating multiple disparate hobbies is good though imo. Let’s you experience new problems and new people and new things. Video games are great though, in moderation like all things.
I say this after binging palworld for the last couple weeks 😃
stretch
#1. Don’t get fat.
Most physical things are use it or lose it, so don’t slow down, move around, have sex, dance, lift weights and definitely do yoga but:
The one physical effect I’ve suffered getting older is that it takes for fucking ever to heal or recover. So don’t neglect rest and recovery either. Especially with lifting, every other day may work better now.
Don’t get old too soon, because then if you live a long time, you might be old for decades, wait until you are closer to the end to get old.
Most of all - enjoy! Enjoy life, now you have more experience and can feel it more. Like really look around at all the amazing things in the world. Even now. So much beauty, so much joy.
Stretch every day, holy shit that makes all the difference for mobility. It takes about 5 minutes when you wake up in the morning.
Do whatever you can to get away. Even for just 3 day weekends. Even just camping should be inexpensive enough.
If you can afford more … Get as far away as possible. Stop making excuses.
Just off the top of my head:
- If It’s at all possible, retire early! Look into FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early)
- Carry as little debt as possible
- Max out your 401k (otherwise you’re leaving money on the table!), build a savings account, and maintain at least 6 months’ expenses worth of cash in an emergency account
- Where you can, plan ahead for large purchases (e.g., vacations, new roof) and make them in cash instead of financing them
- Minimize consumption of goods to maximize financial power (i.e., don’t get sucked into lifestyle creep!)
- Do spend money on things that are high-quality and will last
- Lift heavy things often
- Don’t skip cardio
- Hydrate!
- Use sunblock (physical >>> chemical)
- Get your routine medical stuff (e.g., mammograms start at 40), even the uncomfortable ones (colonoscopy!), and don’t wait until minor things become major to get them checked out
- Be calm, rational, and intentional in your interactions with others, and if you’ve behaved poorly, give a heartfelt apology. This is especially important with your significant other.
- Pay closer attention to your parents’ needs - they are aging and will start to need help they may not be willing to ask for
- Don’t be afraid to remove bullshit from your life. That one “friend” who you never want to hang out with because they just drain your energy? It’s OK to let that friendship go.
I don’t have kids so no advice there.
I felt pretty good at 40. By the time that decade ended I was a wreck physically. I would appreciate your health if you still have it. And use it if you still have it.
Other than that, keep an eye on your health - eat well and move because there’s a reckoning coming and it may only be a decade away (I’ve just been through it with friends and it’s rough). Getting your body in order now is better than trying to fix it later when it’s already going wrong - it’s doable but it gets harder the longer you leave it.
The warranty is gone. It’s run out. Don’t be surprised by ANYTHING that starts to act up, and if you have decent medical support, address them with your doc. Knees grinding? reading small text / focusing on street signs? get your optical script updated. And sometime in the next decade, get mentally ready to get a colonoscopy.
The warranty is gone, now it’s time for you to keep an eye on all the systems and plan for the long road ahead and the hard times to come. Good luck.
