You know, like “always split on 18,” or “having kids is the most rewarding thing you can do in life.”
What’s that one bit of advice you got from a trusted friend that you know deep, deep down would just ruin your thing?
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Anything about god taking you to and through things, or prayer. How’s that working for Ukraine or Gaza or a ton of other places with war, famine, violence, trafficking, etc.? Also, anything that refers to “fighting” cancer or other diseases - too bad your person is gone because they didn’t fight harder.
Neither of these is dead wrong but were rules of thumb that oversimplify changing and complex issues in the US:
“stay away from credit cards” - often prevents people from actually learning about how underlying mechanisms of loans, interest, credit ratings, and budgeting work. There are definitely people incapable of having access to credit and not spending it, so the saying may be true for a subset but if you always pay your bill in full on time and just use autopay so you don’t forget, you’re leaving 1-5% annual rebate for almost all your spend on the table. If you play credit card churning games, much more.
“The only things worth going into debt for are a home and education.” - while accurate in the US for decades, the applicability or even accuracy of this statement is now dubious depending on many factors: career field and interests for education; interest rates, geography and housing prices for homes.
“stay away from credit cards”
I followed this advice in my youth. Never applied for a credit card, never took out a loan, never bought anything I couldn’t afford to drop cash on. I thought it would show I’m fiscally responsible because I’m not accruing debt.
Then I got an opportunity to work a govt job providing communications for the White House; basically, following the president around and ensuring he’s able to communicate at press events, etc. I applied for the job and was told I was their #1 candidate…
…But they ran a credit check on me and was surprised when they got zero results. I proudly stated that I’ve never been in debt before, so my credit risk is zero. But according to them, zero credit history is shady as fuck. They said they couldn’t tell how well I manage money because there’s no history showing regular, on-time payments on credit cards, loans, etc.
They couldn’t tell if I had trouble managing money or not. That made me a potential bribe risk. Someone could offer me tons of money to slip a bomb into the president’s podium, or let a suspicious character into the White House, and if I’m hurting enough for money, they suspect I might be willing to do it.
Literally, my entire history of service in the govt had no bearing on my loyalty. Only my credit score. I lost that job opportunity because I was fiscally responsible.
I went out and got a credit card that same day. I now have an extremely high credit score, which I keep up by paying all my bills and utilities on credit, then paying off almost all of it at the end of the month. I think it’s stupid that I need to put myself in debt, then pay my way out of it over time, spending even more money in the long run, just to prove I’m fiscally responsible. That should prove that I suck at managing money, not the other way around. But that’s the broken system we have today.
I’m confused - you pay off almost all of your credit card and you’re “spending even more money in the long run”. Why not just pay off all of it? Surely if you were able to afford your bills with cash, you’d be able to pay off your credit card in full every month since the bills would be the same?
Only pay off what is due, not the full balance. So if I spent 100 on my cc last month and then 100 this month. My bill is for 100, but my balance is 200. Pay the 100, incur no interest.
Edit: by “what is due” I mean the full balance from the previous month, not the minimum payment.
“Just be yourself”
Ask any neurodivergent person how that goes.
We mask because we are often punished for being ourselves most of the time.
As a religious trans person, it’s deeply insulting how many anti-trans religious authorities say things like “don’t let the world tell you who you are, trust in the voice of God in your own heart” or something, and then go all surprised Pikachu when I’m still trans afterwards.
“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
or
“Do what you’re passionate about.”
Just no. Most things I like don’t pay well and I started to resent the others while doing them professionally. Turning your hobby into your job is like setting your favorite song as your alarm. That’s my experience at least.
“Ground yourself to be safe with electricity”.
Some people out there seem to treat grounding as a magical means for controlling electricity. Even in so far as it’s true at all, you have to consider the situation and how it might move across your body.
Telling a teenager “enjoy these years, they’re the best ones of your life”.
First, tell that to a teenager undergoing severe depression is the opposite of helpful. Second, you just admitted to leading a shitty life. You got to 20 and the next 50 years were garbage?
“Der klügere gibt nach” which directly translates to “the wiser one gives in” or more or less matches the idiom “it’s better to bend than to break”.
Growing up I heard this a lot and it’s mostly use to silence those who have (well-founded) objections. Took me a while to realize that this leads to us following the stupid because they don’t give in which subsequently makes the wise one the stupid one.
The Idiom is regularly abused and misunderstood. Its about being smart what fights are worth fighting. Often heard by kids from their Patents when they fight over “nothing”
“All kids think they are smarter than their parents.” - my father, constantly growing up
What I learned: Never tell anyone else how to think or feel about anything. Anyone that tries to shape your thinking directly is a fool.
Intelligence is like beauty, we don’t have a very good frame of reference to perceive ourselves. Physical beauty is largely measured by the reactions of others. Like beauty, intelligence has many facets. However my favorite measuring stick is curiosity. This is how I overcame my father’s admonition; while curiosity does not guarantee intelligence, an intelligent person is always curious.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
No it doesn’t. In most cases, you’re now weaker.
What doesnt kill you now may still be a contributing factor later down the road.
Most chess advice. It teaches you to think in simple terms without actually thinking about a position. It’s good if you want to get passably good, but it’s a handicap once you improve.
If you don’t succeed, try and try again.
It leaves out the steps where you figure out why you think you failed the first time so trying again with a different approach has a chance of success instead of just failing over and over again.
That doesn’t mean to do it the exact same way over and over again.
Thats what it literally says, so if you don’t know the context…
Sometimes it is used for changing habits through repetition of the exact same steps when it isn’t possible. Like someone who has trouble falling asleep being told that going to bed the same time every night will just work to fix sleep issues when that doesn’t work for everyone.
As an autistic person who struggles with reading things too literal even I know it just means to not give up. It doesn’t mean to do it the exact same way and expect a difference. People who are reading that way are just being obtuse.
I have no idea how you’d take it so literally, you are just being uncharitable with its meaning. It could mean , oh you struggle sleeping. Have you tried melatonin, have you gone to the doctor, do you shut everything off before bed. Try that, don’t give up! You have to be looking to twist that saying to see it that way.
As someone who has trouble sleeping, I have literally been told by dozens of people that changing a sleep schedule is as simple as setting an alarm to wake up each moring and going to bed at the same time. They have even used this specific saying.
I am not saying that is what I think it means. I am saying that is how a lot of people use and understand it, which is why it is bad advice.
Also, yes I have tried all of those things and they don’t work for me. My body wants to wake up midmorning and decades of trying different approaches hasn’t worked. I am tired all the time except when I take a vacation and get up when I want, which is about 9 a.m. That is also the only time I ever feel rested.
I mean I sometimes take sleeping pills to get some sleep, I’m not arguing about the frustrations of things not working. You having a sleeping disorder or some other issue.
that line is more about. If you fall get back up. If your first painting sucks, that’s okay your next one will be a little bit better.
Some idiots may use it the way but it’s not how it should be used. Though I understand it would be irritating to hear for something like that.
Having a non-sterotypical sleeping pattern is not a disorder, that is insulting and a perpetuation of people who naturally rise earlier being seen as better than those with different sleep patterns.
If a lot of people are using it wrong because they take it literally, then it is bad advice. Better advice would be “If you don’t succeed, consider another approach”.
USE LINUX.
