Hi! I’m currently in a straight relationship and have always considered myself extra straight (guys are just not attractive).
However, a very long time ago, I was possibly sexually assaulted by a man (drugged, hung out in his room). I say possibly because I wanted him in that moment, and we tried to fuck each other but had issues getting it up (too many drugs I guess).
I’ve been fantasizing about it on and off ever since. The only person I’ve ever told was my therapist recently. He suggested I be open and avoid shaming myself (so maybe that’s part of this post). Something about being inside someone’s ass while they cum all over themselves, or someone inside me while I cum, is just very arousing.
I know I need to come out to my partner. First, though, I’d like to have a plan to deal with this fantasy. Are there healthy ways to explore this possible facet of my sexuality without, ya know, cheating?
I appreciate the time you took!!
Yes agree on the cheating, not looking for that. I’ll have to check the book rec out, thank you!
What is a kitchen table poly lifestyle?
Kitchen Table Poly (KTP) it’s a type of Ethically Non-Monogamous (ENM) relationship where not only are all parties aware of the existence of each others partners, but everyone gets along well enough to sit together at the kitchen table like old friends and share a meal.
Some ENM relationships aren’t like that. Maybe one partner is good with the other having relations with others, but don’t want to know the people.
Another commenter mentioned about converting a monogamous relationship into a non-monogamous being difficult. It sure is and not a lot of relationships survive. But they are magic when they do.
Bear in mind that taking a relationship that started monogamous and trying to make it non monogamous is probably going to be a mess.
If that happens, particularly in a long time relationship, it’s for reasons.
So, what are the other options? Silencing your desires/needs (ending up bitter and frustrated)? Cheating on your partner? Breaking up?
Each couple has its own mechanics, and there’s not a perfect solution that would work for everybody. But I think communication is not the worst path. I’ve seen much more couples torn apart by sexual frustration, cheating, lack of communication…
I should have been more specific. Communication should be the first step. Say how you feel and go from there together. Opening with “I wanna open the relationship” is a recipe for disaster. But even then, it’s no guarantee it’ll be smooth.