Hi! I’m currently in a straight relationship and have always considered myself extra straight (guys are just not attractive).
However, a very long time ago, I was possibly sexually assaulted by a man (drugged, hung out in his room). I say possibly because I wanted him in that moment, and we tried to fuck each other but had issues getting it up (too many drugs I guess).
I’ve been fantasizing about it on and off ever since. The only person I’ve ever told was my therapist recently. He suggested I be open and avoid shaming myself (so maybe that’s part of this post). Something about being inside someone’s ass while they cum all over themselves, or someone inside me while I cum, is just very arousing.
I know I need to come out to my partner. First, though, I’d like to have a plan to deal with this fantasy. Are there healthy ways to explore this possible facet of my sexuality without, ya know, cheating?
If that happens, particularly in a long time relationship, it’s for reasons.
So, what are the other options? Silencing your desires/needs (ending up bitter and frustrated)? Cheating on your partner? Breaking up?
Each couple has its own mechanics, and there’s not a perfect solution that would work for everybody. But I think communication is not the worst path. I’ve seen much more couples torn apart by sexual frustration, cheating, lack of communication…
I should have been more specific. Communication should be the first step. Say how you feel and go from there together. Opening with “I wanna open the relationship” is a recipe for disaster. But even then, it’s no guarantee it’ll be smooth.