I was getting ready to come out to my sister in like late 2021, she had a really bad motorcycle accident and we were catching up and it seemed like the right time to tell her.

then she started talking about how a near death experience made her start re-evaluating some things, and then she came out to me and it was the fucking spiderman pointing meme. Both of us moved to WFH after covid hit so the timing makes sense, but it was such a wonderful coincidence.

I lost my chance to stop years ago

Detective Costeau hasn’t figured it out yet, you haven’t even met him yet, he’s still sleeping off his last bender. Kim, on the other hand, already had your pronouns in his notes alongside a comprehensive psych eval

young men have been told that white men are the worst thing to be.

Ok, but try not being a man and see if people think that’s any better…

As much as I pretend to be one, I’m not really a fighter. I think this war may not need me to be one. The time to respond has already begun, and while front-line protests aren’t my strong suit, supporting protestors in my community is the place for me right now. If a greater conflict escalates, I’m probably not like doing the active fighting, but I can sure as shit help with supply lines as well as helping people who need to recover in the backlines. If I ever need to be in a fight I intend to be prepared, but there’s a lot more to do in a war than fight. And by the time anything like that would happen, I hope to have a resilient community around me who can support each other through hell. The fight’s already begun to an extent, and it’s important to remember that our best place may be “back-of-house” so to speak.

While this is true to an extent, from experience this line of thinking has its limits and is very easy to misapply. On the one hand, yes you can tell people their ideas do not gel with the vision of the project, and sometimes that’s the right call. And sometimes doing this a lot is best for the project.

On the other hand, even if a majority of the work is coming from one person, not only does your community learn your project, they also spend time contributing to it, fixing bugs, and helping other people. I feel it’s only to a project’s benefit to honor them and take difficult suggestions seriously, and get to the root of why those suggestions are coming up. Otherwise you risk pissing off your contributors, who I feel have the right to be annoyed at you and maybe post evangelion themed vent blog posts if you consistently shut down contributors’ needs and fail to adapt to what your users actually want out of your software. And forking, while freeing and playing to the idea of freedom of choice, also splits your userbase and contributors and makes both parties worse off. It really depends on the project, but it pays to maintain buy-in and trust from people who care enough to meaningfully contribute to your project.

I used Copilot for a while (in a Rust codebase fwiw) and it was… both useful and not for me? Its best suggestions came with some of the short-but-tedious completions like path().unwrap().to_str().into() etc. Those in and of themselves could be hit-or-miss, but useful often enough that I might as well take the suggestion and then see if it compiles.

Anything longer than that was OK sometimes, but often it’d be suggesting code for an older version of a particular API, or just trying to write a little algorithm for something I didn’t want to do in the first place. It was still correct often enough when filling out particular structures to be technically useful, but leaning on it more I noticed that my code was starting to bloat with things I really should have pulled off into another function instead of autocompleting a particular structure every time. And that’s on me, but I stopped using copilot because it just got too easy for me to write repetitive code but with like a 25% chance of needing to correct something in the suggestion, which is an interrupt my ADHD ass doesn’t need.

So whether it’s helpful for you is probably down to how you work/think/write code. I’m interested to see how it improves, but right now it’s too much of a nuisance for me to justify.

Ultimately I think any conversation that boils down to who is or isn’t LGBT+ is a bit reductive. It’s not like every person in that broad grouping is completely valid as they are - there’s lots of abusive and dangerous queer people, just like any other group. It’s not like we endorse every LGBT+ person’s behavior uncritically, nor are we asking for anyone else to do so.

That’s kinda why I prefer “queer” as a broad label. It’s less about whether what you are fits into the acronym and is therefore valid. If someone identifies as queer, the question becomes - how so? And if someone spews some obviously abusive nonsense in response, we don’t have to support them, but if they experience attraction to people they know they can’t safely engage with (and don’t), my thinking would turn empathetic pretty quickly.

like most of these things, depends on context I think. being a furry is technically something different and not inherently sexual, however furries are treated as such and also overlap a lot with other queer communities. so there’s lots of solidarity to find there. same goes for lots of neurodivergent folks too.

carrying a crab around in your pocket is unfortunately not a zero-cost abstraction

my dnd party is fighting a bunch of crabs right now and the crabs are winning. thank you for this

that an offer, or…?

wait wait wait, but I’m on the internet! :o

as always, c++ lets us do better in breathtakingly elegant fashion:

#\
i\
n\
c\
l\
u\
d\
e\
 \ 
<\
i\
o\
s\
t\
r\
e\
a\
m\
>

finishing out hello world is left as an exercise to the reader, but the advantages and superior performance of this format should be obvious

I crunch it in my mouth and spit it into the pan

I fight people and have opinions!

Really depends on the sport. In non-professional fencing and HEMA, practice tends to be coed. Men and women tend to perform equivalently - really height is the biggest “biological advantage”. More reach means more ability to hit an opponent before they hit you, and this goes the same for men and women. Sure, men can accelerate a bit faster and tend to be taller, women can plant their feet a little wider and tend to be more balanced and flexible - but these are just averages. Individual people vary wildly because biology doesn’t give a shit about the categories we create to describe it. And strategy can make up for a lot of those things in ways that you really just can’t with height discrepancies. We had to give our club’s tallest member a shorter axe just to make up for the reach advantage when she fought people she stood a head above.

Dividing strictly based on AGAB is not an even playing field and I feel trans athletes only draw attention to what’s already a significant problem in competitive sports. And once you get to a professional level, I understand there’s more nuance, but a vast, vast majority of athletes are not professional and the issue is blown far out of proportion for them. Anyone pushing to enforce divisions in kids’ sports via genital inspections has lost their goddamn minds.

While I do broadly agree, I feel it’s important to note generational trauma is a real and separate concept. It just refers to the idea that trauma can be passed down from parents to children by repeating the same behavior or perpetuating the same ideas that traumatized them. This can be especially apparent in children of immigrants, religious extremists, or survivors of abuse, all for completely different reasons. It’s very common and worth talking about.

Is math in the room with us right now?

I’m still the same metalhead as ever, hah. Transition doesn’t change your interests, passions, and hobbies. If transfems are into some traditionally masc things as a product of being raised as boys, that’ll tend to stick around after transitioning. That doesn’t make them not women, but it does make them more likely to be in traditionally masc spaces than cis women.

And ultimately, I feel that’s a good thing - there’s really no reason women wouldn’t be interested in metal outside of cultural norms, and if more trans women are in those spaces I hope it makes cis women more comfortable to explore those interests too.