Say what you will about Mussolini, he does a great salami impression 🙃

But they float in a pool, right? That’s safety, baby

My first reaction was “Ouch”. My second reaction was “yeah of course that’s a thing”

Pool toys, like inflatables? I guess that’s one way to practice safe sex

I, too, highly mistrust Bloomberg. Are you a mayor or a newspaper you weirdo

Always has been

😏

Noooo we have to build the wall, don’t you know racists are one of our most important rising electorates

Specially the ones who invest in BiteCoin

I was going to joke and say they’ll have to just stay at home, but those homes are likely illegal settlements

I think the answer is pretty obvious

Bulky pager is a fun way to spin terrorism. Let me try.

How Al Qaeda’s surprise itinerary shocked New Yorkers

That’s fair. I think the example doesn’t fully fix it though. I’ll come up with something that might even be considered funny (by someone, I’m sure) eventually

it still plays into the idea that if you’re Jewish you support/should support Israel.

Even if my intent is that I’m explicitly mocking that idea for being bullshit?

Fucking antisemites smh my head

Marcus did you stop to consider immediately dishing out terrible takes about things I know very little about brings me great joy.

Alright kid, I’m coming out of retirement for one last job

I want my car the same way I want to go to work tomorrow.