It’s not just a crop, it’s had the cigarette removed. The cigarette with the ash he’s about to have to move his hand to knock off into the ashtray there. Giving the shot a positively Hitchcockian level of suspense.

That’s a pretty great heron there

See now, as a US person who expects to tip housekeeping (and I tip them generously because I know they’re exploited and also our family has extra needs) and who also knows about shitty customers, I mostly read the note as “Don’t leave money lying randomly around and then come screaming that the maids have stolen it and you want your room comped. Use the envelope for tips.”

Having had a C-section, sure it’s nice to lie there with the epidural and let the doctors do all the pushing you’d been expecting to have to do, and yes at least I didn’t have to sit on my stitches. But the recovery is kind of a bitch. It’s major abdominal surgery that can a lot of internal scarring, especially if you try to bounce back too quickly. Just trying to get up out of your home bed without tearing the stitches by using your abs is ridiculous. And you’re doing it several times a night. On the plus side, pure love baby. Have fun, hypothetical guys!

I thought we declared an end to that war.

1964. A previous time when America was at war with itself. What MAGA means when they say “Great Again.”

And having time/resources to make smoked hamsmummies of their dead.

Okay the first step in being able to get control and stop crying is to stop being embarrassed about crying. Because that added level of feeling makes the crying worse. So what if the power of your truth brings tears to your eyes? If they mock you it’s because they’re trying to distract from the fact they’re in the wrong. Ignore and continue.

What you don’t want is to whine or sob. So forget your eyes, concentrate on your voice. Deliberately pitch it a little low, it prevents squeaking. And use enough volume to be heard but don’t shout, you want to sound in control.

The other thing you don’t want to do is to snivel or have to deal with snot. So don’t keep your eyes wide trying to keep the tears from dripping, because that will just send the water down those tubes into your nose, and you’ll have a real mess plus you’ll be hard to understand. Deliberately blink and let them fall, or better yet dab with a tissue that you remembered to bring! (You don’t want to be like I once was, stuck with nothing absorbent in my purse but my toddler’s spare pair of clean underpants!)

All the while, concentrate on calmly stating the thing that’s so important to say. Chin up, keep eye contact, don’t let a few drops of water distract you. And you’ll find it gets easier with practice, so practice. Practice logical sentences that make your points, and practice returning to your point despite distractions or arguments from them.

If you wear makeup, try that out too, you don’t want anything that runs!

Being well prepared in case you do start to cry is the best way to minimize it, even if it doesn’t 100% prevent it.

Better than donuts, Donut.

Also fewer carbs than cake, and healthier than something full of sugar substitutes.

Obviously don’t eat the whole cake, but one serving is fine for anyone. And frozen fruit pieces are great for any dieter to have available.

That is so freaking gorgeous. I’m especially impressed by the numbers, because watermelon isn’t all that structurally sound.

A work of art and engineering.

It’s plenty for a party of friends, and if there are leftovers you can freeze pieces for smoothies. Or drop them into cold drinks.

Way to create something that feels like a birthday indulgence without leaving you full of guilt later.

Satan took it, duh!

Even though they’re ghost cats, seeing them in a lidded box makes me uncomfortable. There’s probably a big hole 🕳️ in the back of the lid, right?

What an honor to meet such a superb owl.

Mine is not. UCLA exists for the benefit of UCLA, but fortunately that includes providing excellent medical care in order to keep their reputation as an outstanding teaching hospital.

It’s not. UCLA exists for the benefit of UCLA, but fortunately that includes providing excellent medical care in order to keep their reputation as an outstanding teaching hospital.

I would also be fascinated by barn kittens. Ahem, I don’t see kittens…

Fuck that, I’ve paid good money for my medical insurance, the company can damn well start paying the hospital! I’ve got a lot more in common with the nurses, doctors, and support staff than I do with insurance parasites, I want them justly recompensed for their labor. Will the company try to renege on the contract by refusing as much coverage as they think they can get away with? That’s a lawsuit for another day, when I’m feeling better, and I’ll recruit the hospital administrators to my side.

That wasn’t Desi, it was Seth Meyers, check your own quote

I hadn’t realized the reason the GOP hated Death Panels was because they were made of people who might have hearts and compassion.

If you have conditioner it’ll help with that. You can mix it in as you lather.

Anyway, scalp is skin, so if it’s fine with your scalp it’s fine on your skin. Your body hair will be happy too.