nickwitha_k (he/him)

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 16th, 2023

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  • That’s one of the awesome things, at least with my local library, which is about a 5-10min walk from where I live. Nearly every service that they offer is available online, if you have a card. The card is free and the only time that I’ve had to go in in-person was to verify my address.

    While I was there the librarian even walked my through apps that are useful for managing digital loans, etc. Libby being the one most useful for ebook and audiobook loans.





  • you’re going to need more than an internet connrection.

    Absolutely. Chances are that what you need is a library card from your local public library. When trying to learn more about graphene semiconductors, I couldn’t find the paper that was referenced in articles anywhere that wasn’t paywalled. After a contemplating for a while I checked my library’s site and, sure enough, they offer free, searchable access to academic journals.


  • I’m on an extended hiatus from riding motorcycles, after getting sideswiped on the highway by an SUV. My minimal injuries and likely survival, I owe to my gear.

    My criteria for selection started with looking at available standards for protective gear. In the case of motorcycle PPE, the EU generally has the best safety requirements, so, I’d generally select gear certified to the highest CE standards. My gear pieces were:

    • HJC modular helmet (performed very well in independent studies). This saved my face, which I used as part of an unconventional breaking technique.
    • Revit ADV-style jacket with CE level 2 armor inserts at joints and spine. This resulted in my only apparent external injury being a small abrasion on my arm, treated with ointment and a bandaid.
    • Dainese short cuff gloves with CE Categoy II EN 13594 Level 2 rating (highest standard at the time). These literally saved my life. The steel sliders allowed me to halt my tumble and steer myself away from traffic.
    • Motoport kevlar mesh overpants. Armor was upgraded as much as possible, exceeding CE standards and including coccyx protection.
    • TCX Infinity boots rated at the highest CE standards at the time. These were heavily worn and near replacement. They did do their job well, resulting in only a sprain or hairline fracture of my ankle (suspect the latter with how much it bugs me these days). If I had been able to replace them with a new pair, my ankle may have been better protected.

    Things that I think would have helped more:

    • New boots
    • Abdomen protection/armor (my worst injury was a minor hemorrhage of an adrenal gland from hitting my handlebars but needed no medical intervention).

    For your case, I would recommend looking into dirt bike or ADV PPE. The sort of protection that you’re looking for should be somewhat similar. An extra bonus is that you can likely wear body armor under your normal horseback gear (might need to size up). The technological advancements for impact armor this century are just amazing.


  • The few times I’ve let it out in front of a girlfriend though have been the beginning of the end of the relationship. It’s like they immediately lost their attraction to me when they saw me cry.

    I’m very sorry to hear that. It may be that they did not have the emotional and social maturity to process it well. Or, maybe your expression did not come across in the way that you thought.

    Regarding the part about feelings, what should we be doing when we understand our feelings?

    This is one that I can’t answer as an expert, both because I am not a mental health professional and because I struggle with my emotions a bit due to my ADHD and maladaptive coping mechanisms to deal with childhood trauma. But, therapy has helped significantly and I will always suggest it to anyone who is able to access it.

    What I can offer, though, are some tools, theory, and suggestions that have been helpful for me so far:

    Find a good Feelings/Emotion Wheel. So far, I like the ones patterned after the Junto Institute as it delves into the nuance of emotions that we experience.

    How do you use it? Well, there are a lot of different approaches. What I find helpful is looking at it from time to time to “look at the map” and thinking about times when I have experienced intense emotions, using the Wheel to better draw out more precisely what I was feeling. This exercise generally also goes into exploring why I was feeling that way and contemplating what ways I could act in order to express the identified emotion in a manner that is both genuine and constructive (I am much more comfortable with logic than emotionality).

    When it comes to interpersonal expression of one’s emotions, one can try the same thing with a bit of extra roleplaying. First, I might walk through how I was feeling and how I expressed it, then pretend that I am the person who I expressed it to and try to identify how I would feel in their place and why (every other person is another human being with their own hopes, dreams, desires, and emotions).

    An extremely important thing to keep in mind when working through past experiences is to be kind to your past self and past people that you interacted with. Malice is not a very common thing to encounter, so try not to assume it.

    The idea, overall, is that by going through exercises like those, one builds their comfort and familiarity with their own emotions and are better able to self-regulate and express themselves in a manner that will lead to more healthy outcomes.

    Going back to the first bit of yours that I quoted, if you did indeed express yourself in a healthy and appropriate fashion, splitting ways may have, in fact, been the healthiest outcome for you. Being with a partner that does not value you for who you are (our emotions are part of ourselves), is not something that is psychologically healthy or conducive to a stable relationship.





  • I’ve been on an SNRI for a bit now, specifically a synthetic metabolite variant. Surprisingly, for me, it has both an emotional feeling and a perceived physical sensation.

    For the emotional, it’s kinda like wearing a climbing harness with a trustworthy belayer. Sure, sometimes life throws a bit of a curveball, causing me to lose my emotional purchase but, most of the time, it keeps me from falling into depressive thinking patterns. More recently I had some pretty rough stuff happen in my life, to put it lightly, that took me to to some pretty places but, I my little chemical belayer caught me before I went splat on the rocks and helped me to get out of the funk.

    For the perceived sensation, it’s a bit hard to describe. At times throughout the day, I feel a sensation that is kinda like a tingling on the inside of my skull. It’s a bit weird but much better than brain zaps.