You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It’s not different from that. You are doing it already. There’s not a formula.

I did not randomly send you a DM. We were both on the same thread (so a conversation subject was already decided), and the very structure of Lemmy makes it acceptable to reply to random people in various threads, with the added benefit of it being in written form. Real life is very different; I can’t just listen to conversations people I don’t know are having, and randomly interject when I feel I have something relevant to say.

What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That’s what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.

I understand what that is, but it cannot work. I know one tried at least twice to hook me up with someone. They do not have the power to fix me. No one does.

If you are feeling good about your looks now,

I’m not. It took me almost 4 years to have a normal BMI, yet I’m still super skinny, my face is still horrible, and I’m not even that good at weight lifting (bench-pressing 60kg is terrible).

You have to talk to actual people.

Who? And say what?

This “advice” is always repeated by people like you, yet they can’t answer the most basic question about it.

you can also tell any friends you have that you are looking to start dating, network.

They know, but what can they do about it?

dating apps

I used several apps for 2 years and got nothing. Maybe a match every six months. Those apps are scams anyway; I know for a fact Tinder shadowbans accounts of people they deem too ugly. I did an experiment with a friend once; we both set our search perimeter to less than a kilometer. I could see her account, but she couldn’t see mine.

you still have to reach out to people

Again: who? Say what? I asked that question to several people over the years, both IRL and on Reddit/Lemmy, and NEVER got an answer.

Because rockets and missiles are not the same thing. Missiles have internal guidance systems and can alter their course.

Missiles are not usually remote controlled, and are far more destructive than a drone.

You’re telling me to be annoying or a creep. Talking to someone unsolicited isn’t generally accepted (this is something I learned from some female friends who say they don’t want anyone talking to them at the gym, and from myself because the only people that talk to me in random situations are crazy or asking for money).

And you didn’t answer my question : who do I talk to and what do I say to them? Every time. You people are so predictable.

1. Be attractive
2. Don’t be unattractive

Ask someone out for coffee

Again: who? That part is always missing. “Talk to people!” and say what? I can’t go to a random person and ask them what their favorite color is. How do I pick a person and what do I tell them? This question is seemingly impossible to answer, as no one ever gave me one.

If you have someone like a therapist/counselor/psychologist.

I don’t believe in pseudo-science. Those people can’t do anything. They are not real doctors. They will not cure my autism. Plus, they are expensive and not reimbursed by social security (this is how you know it’s a scam, unlike actual medical professionals).

OK, I’ve been weightlifting and bouldering for three years now.

Now what? Neurotypicals like you never explain the next step.

I’m not overweight. I’m skinny but have been gaining weight over the years. I weigh 60kg for 1m70 (up from 47kg in 2020).

I don’t autistically lift every day (although the non-autists that do obviously have more success with women), only twice a week. I also do indoor bouldering, which is a sport with almost 50/50 men and women. I’ve been going to the same gym for the past 3 years (I don’t know a single person there).

As for my hobbies, I play the guitar, love politics (left/far-left), play video games (mostly retro or indie), go to concerts.

Of course, none of that is relevant, because my face makes manhole covers jump in fear, I’m very short (I know women are shorter but they want taller men), and not muscular.

OK mais la plupart des ados sont plus grands que moi alors que j’ai le double de leur âge 😅

Of all that, only hygiene and exercise improve attraction, and it requires going to the gym 6 times a week and using performance enhancing drugs for it to make a difference.

Diet, clothing and haircut are mostly irrelevant. The only things that matter are height (1m80 is the minimum acceptable nowadays), muscles, and having a nice face. All three are required.

Source: I’m very small (1m70) and ugly, and having the ability to bench press my own weight doesn’t help at all.

You forgot the two most important steps:

1. Be attractive
2. Don’t be unattractive

Otherwise it will not work.

Ask someone out for coffee

Who?

Threadiverse refers specifically to the subset of the Fediverse with threaded conversations, like Lemmy and Mbin.

In France, we call this an olive.

Cyprus is in Asia but it’s a EU member.

The Eurovision has plenty of non-European members (Azerbaijan, Cyprus, Georgia, Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, Libya, Morocco, Turkey).

I don’t. I find them hard to read.

It depends. I got a new MasterCard debit card last week, and the numbers are on the front. Only the CVV is on the back.