Meanwhile, the economy rich people’s yacht money is doing fantastic by every metric.

“Fuck serenity. George is here for payback.”

Inside your vagina are two wolves…

I find it to be derivative and banal, because I am very important and sophisticated and everything should always be about me. Look at me being smart on the internet. I’m a very special boy.

I like to Edge by using a defective browser over and over before I open Firefox and climax.

Holiday special: Make one campaign contribution at a fixed amount, get two more campaign contributions made on your credit card in variable amounts in the near future. Merry Christmas!

We must seize the means of not giving a fuck.

I tied a ROFLcopter to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to make a shitpost cost a cheeseburger, and in those days, cheeseburgers came with pictures of cats on 'em. “I can has cheezburger,” you’d say.

“Tell President Zuckerberg my only regret is that I have but one life to give to block his ads.”

If you can’t handle me at my rude and unreasonable chicken, you don’t deserve my strange juice.

Thou art a grammar Prussian, good sir.

Terrible parenting. If you’re going to go to the trouble of yeeting your baby at least do it properly with a baby trebuchet.

They must be protected from Admiral Zhao!

Kissinger’s lifespan is controlled by the agreement he made with Satan.

I remember someone telling me to look at the driver to be reminded it’s a person and not a machine. Honestly, that makes it several orders of magnitude worse. It’s not a car going 20 under in the passing lane during rush hour, it’s a flesh and blood human being causing the car to go 20 under in the passing lane. It’s a choice being made by a human. That’s so, so much worse.

He’s probably pinin’ for the fXords.