ChexMax

I’m sorry, but comparing yourself to actually physically isolated people while you were seeing people in person at work is wild. Humans are social creatures! I too loved the privacy and peace that came with covid, but if you saw people live and in person at work, you have no idea what it was like to actually quarantine at home with only screen people for companionship. It messes with your head.

Back when meta was pushing threads a lot of lemmy was suggesting blue sky as the “safe” alternative. I thought it wasn’t corporate at that point, though I never looked into it. At the time I thought federating was proof a site was one of the “good guys.” Lots of us here aren’t really techie, and we’re just bumbling along picking stuff up over time, with none of this as a priority, just trying to take baby steps towards a safer, more private net experience.

I never knew my neighbors by sight or name in the apartments I lived in, but I knew a lot of them by sound and smell! Never learned a name, but i knew family issues, their dog’s routine, when they smoked, when they got home late and drunk stumbling on the stairs. I was constantly overstimulated.

Now in a small house my kid plays with my neighbor’s kid, and when we’re gonna be too loud we text each other an explanation/ apology. I love my neighbors. We all rent for context, so it’s not like we’re kind because it’s gonna be life long relationships or something.

Yeah, the sleep deprivation I experienced last time we lived in an apartment makes me loathe to ever consider it an option again. Now I live near an elementary school, and have kids screaming all day at PE. I don’t mind it a bit! People are fine, but when you can hear your neighbor coughing at 3am and it wakes you every night it drives you nuts.

You just have to move to a town with a one street down town. Small town life is a mixed bag

This is nuts. I lived in Orlando for half a year, and have visited dozens of times (grew up in Tampa Bay) and never once stepped on a lizard there. Genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about. Lizards are all over but they’re not suicidal

Four weeks is still way better than average if you’re in the US

Yes, when I ask my toddler for space or privacy in the bathroom they often come right up and hug my leg. Like a cat but much more invasive lol

I mean tailor it or get a thicker padded bra. Small tiddie people don’t own cutlets for no reason. Stuff that top till it looks like you want it

Ooh, I can make a little rumble thunder happen if I do that! But why would anyone want to? And weirdly, just yawning doesn’t really do it, but squeezing the eyes while yawning does. Huh.

I hear what you’re saying about staying away from shitty people, but anyone can lie about who they are short term, and when women are wary of all men in order to stay safe, we get hit with “not all men.” It’s a real lose-lose.

I was thinking about letting a cis girl get breast augmentation in my comment, so i wasn’t really worried about her being disappointed, more that her motivation for body modification is bullying. Kids are really mean, and unformed brains (and formed ones!) Have a hard time seeing past that into even just 4 years in the future.

I don’t think I understand your comment though, people can have whatever tits they want at 21? I’m talking about 15 year olds.

Yeah, it’s nuts. I’m one of 15 grand kids, and me and my 3 sisters are the only ones who do anything for her. No one’s doing well enough to really help, so asking just feels like I’ll lose the relationships and still not get any help. There’s definitely resentment building though

My brother has been off his medication while unemployed / interviewing / first 90 days of his new job until his insurance kicks in. Breaks my heart to hear him describe how hard it is to know he’s intelligent, but everyone at his new job genuinely believes he’s dumb. Kid has an IQ of 141, but without ADHD meds is barely scraping by at his office.

I quit for about a year and a half and by the end just thought I was stupid due to aging/ motherhood. Then one day I accidentally consumed like 2 cups worth (migraine meds have a ton of caffeine!) And I was a super hero that day. I got so much done! I could actually do puzzles again! My brain worked! Then I checked the medicine bottle and was like… oh.

Anyway, I’m diagnosed with ADHD now and realized I’ve been self medicating with caffeine since high school. I’ll never go off it again unless I get actually medicated. I also drink a ton of decaf because I just love drinking coffee

They are. But what’s the alternative? The elderly person who doesn’t know who you are dies their slow, maybe 10 year death in your living room when you don’t have the support you need to care for them? It’s either awful for the elderly person or awful for everyone.

Source: we can’t stomach putting granny in one of those so she lives with us, and I wipe her butt every day. I feel suicidal, and she feels… idk. Because the dementia is too bad for her to really tell me. We can’t put her in one because we know she’ll be abused, but I genuinely can’t and don’t judge anyone who drops their family member off and walks away.

Yeah this game is definitely better if you’re totally burned out/ depressed, cause then the handholding is kind of nice. Plus the main island is kind of sandboxy to create your real home/ base since you basically have very little autonomy in the main quests, and you don’t get that in the first one. I feel like my whole life is so many decisions and I’m too tired to actually do hobbies or game, but I can do a cute game like builders with no brain, just mindless fun.

I feel the same way that it’s like if Minecraft came with a Lego manual and all you’re doing is following it.

Do you like Lego? Do you like following a kit, or do you want to build how you want without instructions?

I agree, but does suck for upper middle class kids who’s parents suck. My parents were poor so I was eligible for all kinds of scholarships/aid. My hs boyfriend’s dad was well off enough that he qualified for zero aid even though his dad wasn’t interested in supporting him financially at all.

He ended up with much higher student loans than me, though we received equal financial support from our parents.

Our mindsets around money were different though so maybe it evens out? He wasn’t afraid of debt, took out loans for everything, became an engineer, does ok. I got a full ride, worked three jobs to cover room and board, ended up overwhelmed and depressed and dropped out. Eventually got my AA at community college. Still have like 7k in student loans a decade later with no real degree.

Where do you draw the line? Not being combative, just curious. Like my toddler should not have bodily autonomy. I don’t think a 5 year old would handle that responsibility well either. At what age do you get it, or does it increase gradually?

I try to let my toddler choose who they hug, or let them pick their clothes when I can, but they are very dumb. They don’t understand the consequences of not wearing shoes, or insisting on a jacket on a hot day. They should have little to no autonomy over their diet or it would just be 15 bananas and constant constipation.

I am ON BOARD for discontinuing the barbaric genital mutilation that is the norm in my country, but do you let a teen get a breast augmentation or a nose job just because their high school peers are bullies? Your teen’s (and young adult’s) brain isn’t done cooking. Where’s the line for body modification expression? Even just evidence of ear piercings don’t go away fully for decades.

What are the basic rights kids and teens should have? (And sorry to hear you live in a community where physical abuse is normalized)

No, at least for some people they can control it. I told my loud sneezing husband who "couldn’t help it " if his sneeze woke the child, the child was his responsibility alone to care for and he found a way to sneeze normally.