Hi! I’m currently in a straight relationship and have always considered myself extra straight (guys are just not attractive).

However, a very long time ago, I was possibly sexually assaulted by a man (drugged, hung out in his room). I say possibly because I wanted him in that moment, and we tried to fuck each other but had issues getting it up (too many drugs I guess).

I’ve been fantasizing about it on and off ever since. The only person I’ve ever told was my therapist recently. He suggested I be open and avoid shaming myself (so maybe that’s part of this post). Something about being inside someone’s ass while they cum all over themselves, or someone inside me while I cum, is just very arousing.

I know I need to come out to my partner. First, though, I’d like to have a plan to deal with this fantasy. Are there healthy ways to explore this possible facet of my sexuality without, ya know, cheating?

  • Klnsfw@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    I’m bi, in an open relationship with a woman. Opening our relationship was the result of a long process, with a lot of communication.

    We want to grow old together. And I don’t want to take the risk of falling in love with someone else, so I looked for something purely sexual, with no feelings or bonds. The solution for me is gay saunas.

    • They are safe places. In my country, gays have been ambushed after a fake date on an Grindr-like apps.

    • Guys are explicitly here to have sex, without useless talking. The body language is sufficient and pretty obvious.

    • Everyone respects consent of their partners (in your situation, you may want to stop everything when things start).

    • Guys are clean (there are showers), there’s free condoms, lub, and so forth.