I know that obviously. Those people aren’t doing that crazy shit. But they can make life easier with planned meals and an easy routine, why deliberately make your life harder?

And this just reminds me of how that fucking bitch took so much food from food banks and never used it ffs. Every Monday a church had an open pantry, that bitch forced everyone to go stand in line separately to get extra. I hated standing in lines so I’d spend every Monday at a library until 7pm and take the long way home for 2 hours. I never actually saw the pantry or what came from it, just the line.

I was abused and neglected as a kid. I had brand name clothes, but smelled bad and only ever ate top ramen and cup noodles. All of that wasted produce was that woman’s. DRINKS were never available. No juice, tea, etc. If I was thirsty I would pretend to shower or wash my hands and drink the bathroom water.

I was institutionalized for a disorder I never had. That woman lied to get me in the institution, and they made me stagnate and regress. I’ve only lived 3 years of my 27 year life. No one believed I was neglected because mommy is rich and I have clothes with old men’s names on them. They’d assume the 8 year old kid is at fault for having no lunch, no signed permission slips, bad BO, filthy hair, etc. Like I chose to be that way. How can I be suffering when my shirt says Abercrombie? Neglect from rich parents is horrendous.

I couldn’t buy my own body wash until I started doing paid surveys at 15 years old (lied my age on PayPal and the site) and dog sitting at 17 on wag & rover. Before that, I used to steal the trial sizes and stretch them as long as I could.

So I’m fighting CPTSD and trying to cut ties and move out. Praise Amazon.