Whelp, I’ve got cancer. It’s the second time I’ve had it. About 9 months ago I was told the docs would treat me but I probably wouldn’t make it.

Its been a hell of a time.

It’s a blood cancer so at the moment I look normal from the outside. I’ve changed a lot though, in the sense that I’ve become more me.

I don’t give a shit about anything except for spending time with people I like. I especially don’t care about money or work.

It (death) is taking a lot longer to happen than I thought it would.

The real trip has been seeing other people’s reactions; I accepted it early on but other people have had very different reactions. Mostly I think they just don’t know how to react, or they don’t think it will actually happen, or both.

I don’t think the human mind is capable of understanding the concepts of “eternity” or “oblivion” very well.

I do believe in God but it’s still scary.

Its the everyday things that catch you off guard; the other day I was wondering when the next soccer world cup would be, then I realised I probably wouldn’t be around for it.

I think when I finally die it will be a relief from all the physical pain.