I’m aware the premise makes no sense.
Over the years I’ve been in and out of therapy. In my teens I had a serious enough depression to necessitate medication to somehow level me, a few years after that I went back because I felt I wanted to unpack a few things from my early years, after that I went back to pick up on the work I left behind, after that I went back to try to find a way to cope with the eminent loss of someone very dear to me and very recently I went back because I felt the need to give it another try to unpack a lot of wrongs in my head.
Unfortunately, every single time, as I try to go back and pick on the process - and I feel the need to stress that I’ve been received by multiple professionals over the years - I’m always directed, more or less openly, not towards what I want to resolve but towards something completely unrelated. And no, I am not a professional in mental health but I think I am minimally qualified to know what I think/understand is bothering me and want to explore and try to find a solution/rationalisation for so I can drop that issue or at least drop it in value in my mind so I can move forward.
Instead, my concerns have constantly been ignored or overlooked and all type of approaches been tried to deviate me, as such:
- hypnosis (went horribly wrong)
- cognitive and behavioural shift (as in “You are acting/feeling/thinking wrong.”)
- completely ignoring my concerns
- openly antagonising me
- a very veiled attempt to create in me a notion of “faith in a higher power” (I’m laic)
The last approach is to try to teach me how to meditate.
I have always been received by licensed professionals, two of them through my NHS; no spiritual counsellors nor anything in the like.
I’ve been able to make more breakthroughs by reading philosophy books than by sitting in a chair and talking back and forth with a therapist. But I always get the feeling that I really need some degree of counselling I am not getting.
Am I being paranoid, unlucky or just expecting something that isn’t at all aligned with reality?
Heya sorry to hear you have had such a head streak with your therapists. I have gender dysphoria and see a therapist because of that so that I can get onto the hormones. I also have a BSc in Psychology. By no means am I an expert on therapy.
What you describe is not what I experience or know through the studies. I was quite clear what I want out of my therapy, what issues I need addressed and my therapist has been guiding me through these. She is taking the time to listen to my pov and is mainly asking follow up questions. She provides an excellent mirror, tells me when I have an unhealthy response to stimuli or situations and asks me if I want to work on those now, later or never because I don’t see it as an issue.
She makes sure I feel safe and heard and we have made substantial progress. But I am also very open to all approaches she throws at me as well as open to any and all homework’s because I have also a professional interest in what she is applying.
Overall I would say you assess the therapist as much as they do you. You need to feel safe and heard, if they do not make a good match for you swap. It is laborious, tedious and annoying but I think well worth it.
Depending on where you are and how your situation is this is easier or harder but remember you don’t have to be there I person and you might be able to use online services. I once tried to verify the quality of betterhelp and the articles (peer reviewed not newspaper stuff) that I’ve found, deemed it to be overall good to very good. I am sure there are many more equally good or better out there. Maybe someone here has some hands on experience too with the online help and can give some better advise than I can.
You got this, don’t give up on therapy just yet. Wish you all the best!
In nearly 20 years I risk I’ve met around 10 professionals. Statistically, I should I have met someone who I could be able to work with and progress. It has not happened. It becomes tiresome.
Thanks for the insight and I wish everything good to you.