Me (13 years old at the time): Dad, Mom’s cheating on you. I saw her making out with this man.

Dad: Listen here, princess. The guy’s filthy rich, and when you have money, it’s normal to have a hot mistress like your mom.

Me: But aren’t you jealous?

Dad: laughs

I was flabbergasted, lmao.

  • Ryoae@piefed.socialEnglish
    17·
    2 days ago

    The things I didn’t need to know but told to me:

    • Whenever friends have the gall to tell me how the dumping in their toilet went, down to texture.
    • A man my mom had a fling with telling me she likes taking it up the ass. Not directly told but heavily implied and not metaphorical.
    • belastend@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      7·
      2 days ago

      The first one is just normal banter for me and my friends sometimes.

      The second one is a reason to regret the development of language.