"I am asking now, and stating this openly, for the U.S. to help me. Together with our European partners, we can ensure the security needed to hold elections. If that happens, Ukraine will be ready to conduct elections in the next 60 to 90 days," President Volodymyr Zelensky said.
I cannot imagine how much that man wants to go home, play a couple songs on his dick piano, then sleep for like thirty years.
What’s… What’s a “dick piano”?
Oh, uh, prior to this entire god damn shit show, he was primarily known for playing the piano with his penis on TV. It was like a signature bit.
I don’t have enough context to know if it’s funnier in ukranian, but I can’t imagine he’s had time to play it much recently.
That whole thing has blown my mind this entire time about how this is going to be covered in the history books. “So yeah, Jimmy Kimmel got elected to the presidency—yeah, the ‘girls jumping on trampolines’ guy, him—and then two years later, the country was invaded. …Oh, by who? Sorry, uh, it was…Satan, yeah.”
We’ve gone pretty deep into Anime plot territory at this point. The asymmetry of Zelenskyy leading a nation that Putin is invading, and then going on to hold his own for five years, is just astounding.
From what I understand he was a satire guy? So lsss like corolla, more like early 00s Jon Stuart or late career elder statesman steve-o?
But don’t quote me on that.
I would vote for Steve-O for president!