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Pretty much any Rodney Dangerfield joke works with Quark:
- I was so ugly my Moogie used to feed me with a slingshot.
- I was ugly, very ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my Moogie.
- My wife, Grilka, and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!
- I told Dr Bashir that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous: everyone hasn’t met me yet.
- I stuck my head out the hatch and got arrested by Odo for mooning.
What a missed opportunity.
Imagine an episode of DS9 where Quark, on Bashir’s suggestion of how he buys more drinks when he’s in a good mood, decides to have an open-mic comedy act on odd nights. Then he himself takes the stage in the third act, and … bombs? slays? It could go either way, honestly.
Morn could even have a slot, only to get pre-empted at the microphone by a guest comedian.
Rule of Acquisition #148
