we can leave your friends behind!

someone the other day posted a link to CT Fletcher talking about willpower and in that video he says something that resonates with me here (and I’m paraphrasing): when you do your best, it’s never a failure, it’s a victory. because you did your best. that you didn’t achieve some (possibly unattainable) goal is irrelevant, because the success is determined by the efforts you made. (and there are MANY ways to interpret those wise words and make them applicable to yourself).

as a single father, i’m constantly struggling with similar thoughts you describe. I often feel like i’m struggling to just survive. but when I see that my kid is happy, and that he’s following my advice (like: ‘never be afraid to speak your mind’ and ‘cleaning your room makes your life better’, etc) and I realize that yeah I’m absolutely doing the best for him that I can, then the whole rest of this shit sandwich doesn’t suck so bad.

there are many measures of wealth, and only ONE of them is by how many dollars are in your pocket. collect those smiles and those ‘i love you, dad’ and they’ll keep you going when money won’t.

here’s me, a grown ass adult with a car i paid off like 4 years ago - nothing special, a smallish commuter POS that gets 40mpg that i literally use to drive 4 miles to work and back.

i was paying about $630/year because i pay for a year at a time, and it’d be almost double that to pay monthly, like what the actual fuck? anyways, a few months ago i get this email from the insurance company telling me “hey get ready your policy will renew in 3 months, be sure to double check your payment method” so i log into my account and they were gonna raise my premium to $970/yr and there was literally no obvious way to see that they were gonna do that. it was a case of logging in, going through multiple levels of menus to get to the future policy, download a pdf of that policy, then view it offline.

well, i’m pissed, so i call them to find out what the hell they’re doing and why and they claimed it’s because i had gotten a speeding ticket. of course, they had zero information to share with me about that speeding ticket - no ticket number, no date/time, no address, nothing. i sure as hell don’t recall getting a speeding ticket, and in any case, with a spotless driving record, you’d think there’d be some kind of interfacing with me about it, but no. they claimed the ticket was real and i’d need to contact my DMV to find out more.

so i call them, the DMV, and after some hassle, find out they have ZERO record of any speeding ticket. so… back on the phone with the insurance company and they just wanna give me the shaft and the runaround no exceptions. i mean, i’m pissed now because it’s OBVIOUS fraud, right? Anyways, i get absolutely nowhere. so i tell them to cancel my policy and i woulda thought about contacting a lawyer about a possible case or something but, naw…

i still have the car, and it’s parked being unused. I swapped to riding bikes to and from work, sometimes an ebike, sometimes a fixie, and i’m the only cyclist on the road around here that I’ve ever seen and it’s sometimes really sketchy. but i plan to ride through the winter, dry or snowy, i don’t care.

it can get complicated, because i’m a single father, but honestly, fuck auto insurance, fuck cars, fuck car brain. we gotta make a stand at some point and I lament that we can’t really do it collectively.