Thanks but I am genuinely just stumbling through life and somehow it works out instead of me being homeless. Idk how shit works out but I feel like I don’t deserve it.

I recently got a job that seems like its going to work out well. I could be making way more money, 2-3x as much, but I decided pretty early that I’m not going to make missiles. This is way below my skill level and isn’t challenging in the slightest, but its a good change of pace. Was happily unemployed for a long time but its time I get back to routine and it feels great having money coming in instead of just out. I’m going to chill with it it for a good while and start applying to those niche jobs that I’m perfect for and pay a lot. Or I’m going to start a business with a buddy or two.

After my cat takes a shit, she’ll run around and yowl. Not meow, yowl. She never yowls except post-poo. But she doesn’t want to interact with me during this time. If I acknowledge her then she stops and just meows and walks around regular. So I just let her have her post shit crazy sesh. Like, I get it, I feel great after dropping one, so its good she feels comfortable enough to express her after shit joy.

Finally, some fresh water sashimi I won’t regret eating.

just found out catholic doesn’t mean you’re addicted to cats smh I need help

This nerd sat down and said yeah I’m gonna discover everything that gets you high

do y’all like bionicles?

At first I was like don’t tread on me, but now I’m like “tread on me daddy oWo”

On top of you there are two comforters, you are extremely cozy. End of meme.

Why is it a crime to have a femboi gobble my cock in a keitruck? This is the future your grandma was scared of.

I hope you “don’t” get eaten by a shark.

fuck the police :3

I am super lactose tolerant. I drink a gallon of whole milk a day. My body is prepared for massive mommy milkers.

…we do got to talk about rat milk tho, forking gains from sucking rat tiddies but nobodies doing it? Rats in NY are bigger than cats, you could milk the shit out of those rodent nipples.

TIL human milk has ~65 calories per 100ml and a average is 900ml produced per day. Which is only 585 calories. I would need 3-4 mommy milkers in order to sustain myself off only human milk. Which there’s cow milk to but even it is pretty weak. I need to get on the dog, rat, or rabbit milk game:

Human: 3.8% fat; 1% protein; 7% lactose

Cow: 3.7% fat; 3.4% protein; 4.8% lactose

Rat: 10.3% fat; 8.4% protein; 2.6% lactose

Dog: 12.9% fat; 7.9% protein; 3.1% lactose

Rabbit: 18.3% fat; 13.9% protein; 2.6% lactose

We’ll move to this second door to show it wasn’t a fluke. Again, we will load, preferably with a our breaching charge, but a slug or 00 buck will work. We’ll position ourselves at 45° and *boom*just like that we’re in. If you liked this shitpost and would like to see more like it don’t.

You now cum mustard

I’m glad I’ll be dead before the possibility of living in a house haunted by a ghost with brainrot.