I'm back on my BS 🤪

I’m back on my bullshit.

  • 24 Posts
  • 263 Comments
Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: May 28th, 2024

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  • Same, but I didn’t marry them. I became nearly completely useless. Lost almost all friends, hobbies, work, goals, dreams, and even desire. I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror. Coming back has been incredibly difficult since I didn’t trust anyone to guide me nor myself. How do you get somewhere without direction? Lately, I think I’m on the right track, but I will never be my old self and that’s okay. My old self got me in that situation, so the new one will be better.

    Below are three songs that I found validating during these times. Two are in English and one is in Spanish. If you don’t speak Spanish, I would happily translate the lyrics for you; just let me know.

    Ren and Chinchilla

    The Big Push

    Residente











  • That sucksssss. I remember feeling the zaps for a few nights and feeling entirely disconnected from reality. I couldn’t tell if I was awake or in a dream. I would close my eyes and fantasize about whatever I could to pretend I was somewhere else to ride it out. Then when at work during the day, I was pretending that I wasn’t exhausted from severe lack of sleep. I would have to go to the bathroom to take breaks and recover a little and convince myself everything was okay. I even asked someone I got a long with to make sure I didn’t look weird or did anything stupid.

    Seems like the withdrawal hit you a lot harder than me, so I can’t even imagine how difficult that was to endure.


  • I get that they work and are quite helpful to many people, but I will never take another SSRI in my life again. I hate them things. They make me feel dead. It’s like tricking my mind into pretending everything is okay and jolly by becoming stupid and unaware to the reality of the overall situation. If I feel depressed, it’s for a reason, and the solution is to address that reason, not pretend it doesn’t exist or it’s fine. It’s like if you are in a situation where your leg is broken and can’t heal, would you rather take an opiate to numb the pain or change the situation so your leg can heal? I guess my issue wasn’t necessarily a serotonin imbalance 🤷