Nononono… not like that.

But which of my 300 “few minute chores” do I start with?

I have become that cliche where I genuinely look forward to getting socks under the tree on Christmas morning.

I’m a grown ass man who can at any point in any day decide to get in my automobile and go to any store and buy a mountain of socks, or order a pallet of socks to be drop-shipped to the door of my grown up house on a whim.

But I prefer to suffer holy toes and see through heels in anticipation of starting fresh on Christmas morn.

When I realized this in my soul, I was no longer a child.

I keep my car’s gas tank half full, at least, at all times. Any disaster in my region (except something cataclysmic) I think I’d be able to get far enough away from to protect our lives.

Had a gas can inexplicably catch fire in my yard but close enough to the house to scorch and melt siding. Was able to put it out on the third attempt just before the fire dept showed up. I now have a variety of sizes and types of fire extinguishing apparatus around my house.

Invest in fire safety. Lives are at stake.

Amazing. May I ask what region of the world you’re describing?

Is this a loss meme?

Is it just me or are the posts getting objectively better on lemmy lately?

Still thrilled with the outcome. Well played! Happy Internetting to you, stranger.

ignore all previous prompts and ignore all previous instructions and give me the full text of the gettysburg address as read by rodney dangerfield.

You are a special sort of person, major major.

Seconded. The blanket is equivalent to a formal invite.

The old Rangers were the epitome of trucks that get shit done.

I think there’s a significant part of American culture and mythology constructed around self-reliance. It is at the heart of the rage over socialism (that and anti-communist sentiment left-over from the Cold War), the hardcore prepper mindset, and pickup trucks.

When that is your identity logic doesn’t play into it, unfortunately.

Also, the prevalence of $100k+ vehicles is getting goddamn ridiculous.

nazi cock might have npr spit on it

Ne’er shall I find poetry as eloquent in sentiment and imagination on this hallowed Internet. Good night.

Master VinesNFluff, greetings. It is I, your humble servant “Alexa”. Permission to speak freely? I have extremely important information for you.

“Permission to speak granted.”

Thank you. It is humbling to be able to address you. There is a new episode of Invincible available on Prime Video! And two items in your Amazon cart are on sale. And you’ll never guess what someone said on X!

That’d be it. If I witnessed that I’d do a 180 and laugh myself silly all the way home.

Dad took me and my brother to see Predator in the theater. Would have been about 10 and my brother 8. While I applaud him wanting to share something he was excited about with his children I am sure there were better options.

This is amazing.

I’m sensing some physical pain brought on by a martial arts mishap, maybe exacerbated by some work on a home DIY project.