I get the joke.
But related real talk phones get got a lot. They won’t need to steal your phone they’ll just hack it like every other computer on the planet.
You don’t have to look much for the evidence.
https://www.pcmag.com/news/ileakage-flaw-can-prompt-apples-safari-to-expose-passwords-sensitive-data




Ogio. I have 5 or 6 bags including some luggage. All have held up for 10s of years. Recently the luggage (7 years old) had a zipper break and Ogio just replaced it no questions asked.